October 1, 2007

Hi, my name is Veronica and I am a soon-to-be single mom.  Having grown up reading harlequin romance novels, it is no surprise I fell victim to the ever rampant “I think he is the one syndrome.” 

I met him in 1996 in Ft. Jackson, South Carolina.  We were both completing our Advanced Individual Training (AIT) in the military. I was 18, he was 20.  I thought he was kind of goofy looking at first.  Tall, lanky with a goofy smile.  But everywhere I went, there he was.  Our first off-post weekend my friend Odie and I went to the mall.  He kept showing up everywhere we went.  What started out as a bit annoying became an entertaining game of cat and mouse.  My friend Odie went her way and I stayed behind with him.  He put his arms around my shoulders and started whispering something in my ear.  I can’t remember what he said–or if he said anything at all.  He may have simply been reciting the alphabet as far as I can remember.  He turned me around and kissed my lips.  That is the first time I realized how beautiful his green eyes were.

 We got together for every off-post pass for the next 6 weeks.  He asked me to fly out to Virginia were he was from to meet his family.  He said he loved me and he knew I was the one for him when he first saw me walking across the lawn that seperated our two barracks.  His words rung like those of the many Harlequin novels I had read when I was younger-probably too young to have been reading them!  So, it was settled, I would fly to Virginia when we finished our training.  He did introduce me to his family and it was great!  However, I spent 7 days in Virginia, 5 of which were probably spent at his brother’s house in company of his dog “Wheezy”.  Clearly that was a sign?!

To make a long story short -I saw him once in the next 6 years.  While he was stationed overseas he would call me and tell me how I was the love of his life, etc.  He got out of the military and I flew out to Hawaii to visit him.  A month later he had moved in with me in Illinois.  A year later-I was pregnant. 

Looking back all of the signs were there!  We were not really compatible at all.  But I lived in my fantasy world of this romance that spanned an exchange of words over 7 years.  I now have a 2-year-old daughter and am in the midst of a divorce.  Beyond the lying, deceit and infidelity–we were still not compatible.

 I started law school this summer and I have my own business.  I have my beautiful Sofia and a very supportive family.  However, the upcoming years are sure to be challenging. 

I am petrified, excited about the new beginning and overwhelmed with uncertainty about the days to come. 

Bills, Dating, Life After Marriage, Single Mom Stigma, Keeping The Peace With The Ex . . . Surely I am not the only one out there . . .